How can parents help with college essay writing?

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step in, and when to take a step back. When it comes to the college admissions process, this classic arc of parenting is no different. You may find yourself asking, “Should I help with college essay writing?” Whether your child has had a relatively smooth journey through high school, or has faced big challenges, you want them to land in the best college they can. It’s natural to want them to be as well set up as possible for this exciting new phase of their lives. And parents can play a really important role in helping their children to navigate the complex world of college admissions. 

Help with college essay writing is useful for most high school students 

For most students, applying to college is the first time they’ve needed to complete multiple applications on a tight timeline. It’s also usually the first time they’ve had to write extensively about themselves, their experiences, and their goals. So if it seems like your high schooler needs help with writing a great college essay, you’re probably right. 

Nearly all high schoolers can benefit from support with their college essay writing process. This is a classic case of doing something new for the first time, and it doesn’t help that there is so much stress and pressure surrounding admissions. Every teenager faces unique challenges when it comes to writing, but your high schooler will likely struggle with something on this list: getting started, brainstorming, writing style or mechanics, writing structure, revising, or perfectionism and getting stuck. 

Parents should feel comfortable offering help with college essay writing 

There are many ways you can help support your teen with writing a great college essay, but understanding the process and the opportunities to offer guidance is key. How you can best support your child depends on where they run into trouble. Letting them know that you’re available and asking what you can do to help can be a great first step.

Most teenagers and, let’s be honest, most humans, can use some help when it comes to keeping track of deadlines and schedules. See if you can find a way to support them that they are likely to tolerate - setting up a shared calendar, or collaborating to decide on some dates to work around. Keep in mind that the support you can most easily offer may look different that you initially imagined. This is okay! Everyone’s in a learning process. 

A great college essay sometimes requires extra support 

We know it can be hard to accept, but it’s important to remember that parents aren’t always best placed to help with college essay writing. Great college essay writing should always begin with a process of reflection for your student about what is most important, interesting, or essential to who they are and the stories they want to share about themselves. Sometimes these stories align neatly with parents’ expectations, but more often than not, they look a little different. 

Consider the possibility that some of the individuation your child needs to do to thrive and excel in college might be beginning now, as they set out to narrate where they’ve been and what they hope for in the next phase of their lives. If they are interested in your help, feel free to join them in brainstorming, reading drafts, and discussing topic possibilities. If they feel that this is an area where they don’t want your intervention, we’d advise you to respect that to the extent possible. And if you sense they would still benefit from support, we encourage you to reach out to an experienced college essay tutor.

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